The Adventures of Gwaine - The Drunken Knight
by x Ace x Girl x Called x Ace x
Summary: Like the titles says, it's all the pranks, tricks, mishchief and basic nonsense Gwaine gets up to whilst drunk. Short parts/ storys. *Will be updated randomly* Newest Chapter: Gwaine and the Flying Pig... Part 1 :)
1. Gwaine and the Pink paint Part 1

**Hey Guys! Ace here. Again, **_**Another Morgana Controlled Invasion **_**is only on pause yada, yada, yada... But whilst it's on pause (or going) I decided to post this! I've always wanted to do stories about Gwaine... so here they are! Hopefully you'll like it. I'm not that good a writer so please point out any mistakes. **

**Allons-y! Ace XD**

**Warning: Craziness endures...**

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He stumbled out of the Tavern, his grin hiccupping. A fair maiden caught his interested eye. Gwaine, attempting to steer himself towards the beautiful, hazel-eyed lady, instead brought himself to the forest. There, a gigantic, blurry, pink shape caught his eye (which he mistaken for an angry Arthur each time):

"Com *Hicup*-e on Princessssssssssss I ain't done *Hicup* it" Even though he was drunk, he knew he did do it - shh!

He never realised he never spoke it out loud:

"SSHHHHH...HHHHHHH...HH..H! Don't *Hicup* tell Agravaine or... or Prince *Hicup* -essssssss or *Hicup*..."

In reality, the pink blur was actually 100 cans of pink paint stacked together, which had been zapped magically from the future. The reason why was unknown.

The knight smiled. He saw a brush...

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SLAM! The door to Merlin and Gaius's chambers came crashing open, the room's mouth agape. "Merlin!" A cheeky voice called. Gwaine. The Warlock sighed.

But when he turned around, this wasn't what he'd expected.

Merlin burst out in laughs; chuckles; grins and giggles.

Gwaine had pink paint (now partly dry) dripping off his - now - Ferocious pink cape.

"What did you do?" Merlin managed to gasp (in between laughing and gasps for precious air).

"Got drunk and..._accidently...maybe..._painted half of Camelot - including princess - pink?"

"WHAT?!"

Merlin raced out the door - only then did he notice some pratty nobles sniggering at some guards with pink helmets and chain-mail, whilst guards secretly laughed at them, since they never noticed their bright, pink, painted hair.

Startled, surprised, shocked, Merlin felt his emotions jump as he heard an angry shout : "GWAINE!" His royal pratness had decided he'd join in the party... ut-oh


	2. Gwaine and the Pink Paint Part 2

**Hey guys! Sorry about the ****random**** updates. Like I said: ****_they will be _****_random_****_..._**

**Allons-y!**

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_Gwaine and the Pink Paint Part 2_

_"GWAINE!" His royal pratness decided to join the party._

Merlin sighed. He'd have to cover for Gwaine - again...

The recently closed chamber door flung open once more, an exact repeat of the way Gwaine shoved through it - although he was skipping merrily during the journey inside.

Arthur wasn't. Merlin had one thought: Gods he would get back on Gwaine for this.

Arthur strode in, flushed with anger - which was drying the paint on his cheeks much quicker.

The next thing that happened, well, let's say the paint on his face dried up and fell off as individual flakes:

The servant and previously drunken knight burst out laughing at the sight - and state - of the king of Camelot. Despite the fact that Merlin knew he would be mercilessly murdered after this, he really did have to comment on Gwaine's imagination when he came back to haunt Arthur.

The prat had pink paint staining his hair, prompting it to go in every direction you could see without getting dizzy; around his eyes, Gwaine had painted on the impression that the king was showing off his new, pink, fabulous make-up including pink paint eyeliner, pink paint mascara and to top it off - pink paint eye shadow; a pink mustache and beard; rosy pink cheeks (with freckles!); of course lipstick, which tasted suspiciously like paint to Arthur and obviously, no monarch is complete without his or her crown, which was painted on the ruler's forehead in (guess what!) pink.

Gwaine swore he thought he saw pink steam coming from Arthur's ears.

"YOU! You, are going to apologise to everyone who's things, or themselves, you painted pink!"

"But Princess-"

Gwaine's whiney complain was cut out by Merlin's stupidly brave, defensive argument: "How do you know it was Gwaine?"

"Maybe, _Mer_lin, you want to ask Gwaine that. Gwaine?"

The knight's response was a nervous chuckle...

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Meanwhile, outside Camelot, the citizens were now all gibbering about the latest gossip - the new Camelot (suspected) slogan. Why? Because on all four walls of the white-stoned castle, the words: '_Gwaine is cooooooooool_' were marked lazily in gigantic, slurred, pink, painted writing.

The birds, who usually took residence upon the castle roof, were squawking about it, if they weren't staring, dumb-struck.

* * *

"I don't think I want to hear the answer"

"Well then, _Mer_lin, why don't you shut up and stop being an idiot?"

"Prat!"

"Stupid!"

"Dollop-head!"

"Gwaine!"

"Gwaine!" was chorused by servant and master.

Arthur continued:

"Clot-pole!"

"That's my word!"

"So it is"

"_Mine_ means_ mine_ - M-I-N-E"

"_King_, _Mer_lin, means _king -_ K-I-N-G"

"Cabbage-head!"

Arthur blinked. Then he blinked again.

"A _what_?"

"Ha-ha! Cabbage-head! Cabbage-head!" Gwaine had split invisible stitches in his sides.

"Oh and Merlin? I forgot to mention my armour needs polishing - and scrubbing, to get rid of the paint" Arthur grinned.

"Ha-ha!"

"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you Gwaine. Remember you still need to make all your apologizes - and there's a bucket and sponge for you in your room" Arthur was smirking under his breath, whilst Gwaine's smile fell.

Trotting out behind his king, Gwaine hoped he'd see the beautiful woman he saw before stumbling into the forest.

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**Good luck, Gwaine! Next time: During training, Gwaine sees a flying pig.**


	3. Gwaine and the Flying Pig Part 1

**Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the last chapter - and thanks to any reviewers (I'm CERTAIN I got 1... hopefully).**

**This time: ****_During training, Gwaine sees a flying pig._**

**_IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO READERS (any I've got) AT BOTTOM._**

**Allons-y!**

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_Gwaine and the Flying Pig Part 1_

_CLANG!_ On the training field, swords clashed, making a rippling, vibrating clang-y noise shake the ears of all with in a certain radius.

"Okay. Rest" Arthur decided that was enough for now.

Meanwhile, an exhausted, lanky, weak and rubbish sword fighter of a servant strolled over and plopped himself on to a bench. The furthest one to be precise.

The knights had settled themselves on the closest bench. Arthur; Percival; Leon; Elyan; Caine; Kyle and... Mordred. The Warlock scowled. That damn druid. Destiny didn't think it was working him hard enough yet? well destiny your wrong. Damn destiny... and druid. Merlin silently chuckled. He was going insane. That made him feel important. A nice type of important. Not like destiny's way of importance.

Surprised, shocked, startled, Merlin jumped out of his skin when someone lay a hand on his shoulder. It was Percival. _Stupid, gentle giant, scaring me like that. _

A hiccup vibrated across the training field, simultaneous to Merlin's last syllable of speech. In a split second, all of the heads in the green, grassy area (all of them - servant, master and prats) snapped around, so amazingly fast it would be classified as a 'blink and you'll miss it'. There stood, swaying on_ his_ feet, not a surprise to anybody (and a rock, which he always tripped on) present was:

"Duh du duh du duh du da! Never fear, Gwaine is *hiccup* here!"

Multiple sighs echoed around, the wind carrying the breezy responses until they evaporated into thin air. The lazy, noble prat named king... Prat didn't order anyone to revive them.

"Stupid, lazy, royal prats"

"_Mer_lin!" of course the king would react, since he was the only royal currently there.

"Ha! Ha! A tomato stole king prat's armour and dressed up in it!"

"GWAINE! Are you drunk?"

"I am not Mr. Tomato Head!" the knight placed his hand on his heart, pretending to be hurt, when - weirdly - burst into giggles.

Once again, he spilled his thoughts aloud:

"Ha! Ha! Stupid Mr. Tomato Head. He doesn't know *hiccup* how to hiccup as cool as me - _and_ that I have holy ale in my water skin _AND_- oh! A flying pig!"

"What?" was chorused.

The drunk knight started to skip merrily, until he broke into a run (duh du dun!). Fascinated, he stuck his hands out like a little child, begging for a sweet treat, whilst chucking high-pitched giggles left, right and center. The knight was chasing his dreamt up pig without a care in the world. That is, until, he tripped over that rock (yet again) and sliced open... it looked as if it was a... please, gods no... a mouth.

Two small, simple words slipped out of everyone's mouth present: "Oh no..."

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**Lol :) Hopefully that was funny... Can you guess what's coming next? :**

**_Gwaine and the Flying Pig Part 2_**

**_Starring: Gwaine and a Flying Pig_**

**_Special guest star: the Talking Shoe_**

**_IMPORTANT NOTE: _****Okay to any readers I have (if this is actually read - i know I can't be bothered) I need some names for the shoe, I've got the pigs but I need a shoe name. Just post any names in a review if you want to or just put a name like:**

**Reviewer: Bob**

** 'Jim' or Call the shoe Bob**

**Thanks Ace XD**


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